Psychotherapist :: Astrologer :: Teacher

In my experience, being human means knowing pain, loss, fear, and confusion along with joy, felt intimacy, and meaningful connection. Meaningful relationship, with ourselves and with others, is the foundation of a balanced and flourishing life. And yet, so often our lives can be filled with difficult and challenging emotions. The archetype of the Moon is the psycho-somatic part of our being – our bodies, feelings, and emotions. The Moon is the relationship we have with our mother and family, our early childhood experiences, and how we nurture ourselves and others. Whereas the archetype of Jupiter expands whatever it touches so we must first look at what is being touched in the lunar dimension of life to understand what is being amplified here. Growth often comes with growing pains, some discomfort, anxiety, and fear of the unknown as we work our edges. Moon-Jupiter teaches us that when we take care of our core needs and nourish ourselves there is an abundance of support and maternal care that blesses our lives. When we get overly caught in what is comfortable and easy we sometimes miss the larger call to grow.

Sung to you by the lovely Travis DiRuzza.

This episode of Correlations is unique in that it is a real life example of the journey we go on when being with our difficult feelings toward an event and person, in light of reading their birth chart. We begin the episode with Matthew’s complex and difficult feelings toward Melania Trump recently wearing the jacket “I don’t really care do U?“ to the southern border of Texas to visit the children being detained by the US government.

As we explore these complex feelings we use the tool of nonviolent communication to begin to understand how we can read birth charts in an empowering and non-shaming way, using the chart and transits of Melania as our focus. We also have a healing experience discussing the grief process, the path of forgiveness, and the balance of feeling our raw and powerful feelings while also practicing nonviolence. Our hope is there is something in here for you in the process, as much as, or more than the content.

After recording this episode, I keep coming back to the proverbial question: How do we best take care of ourselves while taking care of others?

Compassion at our borders. Boundaries as compassionate. What can this look like? I know that in order for me to have compassion I have to be resourced. When I am under resourced in my life whether physically, spiritually, or emotionally I have a very hard time accessing my compassion. One way I get more resourced is to have better boundaries as a form of self-care. I simply cannot take care of others if I cannot take care of myself. I see a lot of Americans around me under resourced and struggling with boundaries and self-care. This is at first confusing and then very sad for me. We are the richest most powerful country in the world and yet so many Americans are sick, tired, depressed, and anxious. We have become a top-heavy empire where the majority of our resources goes to fighting all kinds of fights at home and abroad instead of caring for our people. No wonder we cannot have compassion at our borders. We do not have enough compassion within our borders.

These days, I am most interested in meeting in the middle. Liberalism and conservatism are beginning to feel like racism and sexism. Polarization and discrimination that is hurting every one. As someone who used to identify as a “liberal” I see my liberal brothers and sisters participating in acts of unkindness while pointing the finger at the conservatives and saying they are evil and need to be saved. Saved from what? Once we begin to think we have the power and duty to save someone else I find we get into a whole lot of trouble. When is wanting to save someone else or an idea of the way the world should be a form of not taking responsibility for our own lives and a form of spiritual bypass? Ideologies have become strait jackets of armor we wear to make ourselves feel better about our position while often hurting people along the way. It is not being a liberal or a conservative that makes one kind or unkind. It is one’s human heart, acts of compassion, and the way one treats all of life. I know plenty of “liberal” Trumps in this world. I also know it is really uncomfortable to admit we are all implicated. There is no such thing as a pure life anymore. Maybe there never was. Because no matter how much I care and do my best someone is suffering for the things I have. We cannot currently escape this and there is no one party that is responsible for this. I believe we are all responsible for this system we have inherited.

I do not want to fight wars abroad and I do not want to fight wars at home. It is far too easy to get caught in the drama of there is not enough and lose kindness and respect for one another. Yes, I care a whole lot and my best guess is so do you. Because that is what human beings do — care. It is one of our greatest human features. And the one that most easily gets tangled up in pain, confusion, and despair when we need something we do not have: shelter, food, water, love, attention, and understanding. I do not think it is right to separate children from their parents. It is a very unskilled way of communicating a message. We can say no and still be kind. Even better, we can give other options of how to move forward while still honoring our necessary rules and boundaries. I will always stand up and protect those in need. Parenting for peace in our homes allows us to parent for peace everywhere else in our lives. Peace in my home means no more Trump or Republican bashing. It’s a sick little game that I do not want to play anymore. I believe there are more skilled and resourced ways for me to care. To show up and love the people in my life, to speak out when I do not agree, and to take really good care of myself.

In my experience, we have to police our borders when we feel there is a lack or we are in fear that something important will be taken away. A watch dog to protect borderlines. So much energy goes into the policing that could otherwise go into the resourcing, if we actually trusted we are going to be okay — truly feeling and experiencing there is more than enough right here, right now.

As a psychotherapist, I support people in their deepest pain, confusion, and despair. I see more than ever, every person is sensitive, compassionate, and wants to be loved and understood. I am here to offer care and support. I, however, do not want to use my energy to attack any more. Feeling anger, rage, hatred = all good and necessary. But I do not want to shame, blame, or attack from this place. It is SO hard. Probably one of the hardest things for me not to do in life, and I certainly do not always get it right the first time around. I find the best way to feed our demons is to give them lots of light (attention) and love (care). The demons move from ugly and scary monsters to wise and compassionate beings — from distorted to clear. I need help loving my monsters and I imagine that means you do too.

We are all finding our way through right now. These are undoubtedly challenging times to be alive for a lot of people. I am doing my best to share my real experiences. I see all of you amazing people out there doing your best to show up with so much love, creativity, care, and kindness. You absolutely do not go unnoticed or unappreciated. THANK YOU!

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Psychological splitting is one of our primary defense mechanisms, a normal and healthy function of the individual psyche that occurs in every human being. On the one hand, it offers us protection until we are strong and ready enough to encounter and integrate those parts of our self, good and bad, that at first feel foreign to the ego. On the other hand, splitting functions more deeply, transcending our individual psyches by serving collective and transpersonal purposes. Psyche is not just on the inside, but is the universal mind in which we all swim together. In this sense, psyche is fractal, and we are each a diamond whose facets catch the light of communal relation in a kaleidoscopic network of interactions. We play different roles for one another, not just due to individual projections, but as part of a larger group gestalt, a broader process of psyche coming to know itself better as each individual becomes more integrated through working their relationships.

More than just a defense mechanism, psychological splitting is a way that you hold a piece of me until I am ready to recognize it as myself, and vice versa. In our closest relationships, our friends and partners often carry traits that we have trouble accepting as our own. By being in these relationships, we can slowly drink in those seemingly foreign traits. Thus, splitting in not pathological, but a way of integrating Self at a pace that we can handle. It is a form of amnesis, or forgetting, that is to our benefit. Just as we cannot see all our past lives less we be overwhelmed by their weight and unable to engage cleanly in the present, so too are we unable to see all the parts of ourselves right away. We must gradually become that which we already are potentially. We do this by interacting with people and our environment, by slowly reclaiming those parts of our Self that we initially, often for our own good, split off from ourselves. Splitting relates to the Saturn-Pluto complex in the sky presently. We can look at the birth chart to help us to see the unique ways in which each of us is prone to splitting. By identifying and working with these personal archetypal themes, we are aided on our soul journey toward becoming our fullest selves.

~Full Moon Blessings on Saturn and Pluto~

Sung to you by the lovely Travis DiRuzza.

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Venus is the Goddess of Love and Beauty. She is in rare and powerful alignments now through the rest of 2018. On this episode of Correlations, Matthew Stelzner and Jessica DiRuzza have a heartfelt discussion about how to make the most of Venus through her phases in love, relationship, art, music, and dance. The Goddess herself is going through powerful transformations in the ascension process, and making herself available in new ways for us all to engage in.

~Truth, Beauty, Love.~

Music by the lovely Travis DiRuzza.

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Please join Matthew Stelzner and myself for Part II of a discussion on the current outer planetary alignment of Saturn and Pluto in conjunction from 2018-2021. The significance of this time period is felt by so many as we come to the final years of the Uranus-Pluto square from 2007-2020. Saturn and Pluto are making their first conjunction since 1981-84. On this episode of Correlations, we further​ dialogue about the wide range of experiences one may have during this powerful alignment and offer alternative perspectives and thought forms on how to live with these energies in an empowering way.

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Life is made of patterns and cycles. They are all around us. We find ourselves, once more, in similar situations and experiences throughout our various relationships—those moments and people we encounter in life again and again. Astrology is a map of the cycles of the planets in connection to the patterns in human life. The patterns we repeat in love can be seen in the birth charts of our lovers and partners, a karmic trail running through our key relationships for us to discover. Identifying these repeating archetypal themes gives us the chance to grow our awareness and practice new ways of facing old patterns. The way through is not to escape the repeating patterns, but to find new meaningful responses to them that are more freeing than before. What repeating patterns in love and relationship might you be working with in this life?

Sung to you by the lovely Travis DiRuzza.

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How we see our lives has so much to do with the way we interpret and make meaning of what is occurring. How do we get beyond the general symbols of astrology, to connect with the unrepeatable particularities of a person’ life? In the fourth Stream, Systems View of Astrology, I consider how much more there is to astrological interpretation than the symbols themselves—for they are just one small part of each of our unique stories. Beneath the repeating planetary patterns lie singular lives that transcend and will never be fully explained by those patterns.

In this Stream, I also share how when we go through a psycho-spiritual death and rebirth in life, our chart does too. The way we participate with and experience the planetary archetypes also dies and is reborn. New levels of meaning, and therefore possibility, are created. We evolve, as do the archetypes. This is the essence of relationship and participation: Both entities are changed.

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In the third Stream, Family Systems and Astrology, I further explore family patterns revealed in the astrological charts of whole families as a continuation from Stream 2. Over the last decade as a counseling astrologer, I have collected research from thousands of charts and looked at the data through the lens of depth psychology. I share here the variety of ways archetypal signatures may show up within our family lineage. Discovering our own family archetypal signatures can help us see clearly the karmic batons we carry forward in our own lives, both in the archetypal complexes shared and the structural poetics in which the complexes are patterned.

Music for Stream created and produced by Travis DiRuzza (musical genius and love of my life!).

Thank you for listening to Stream. Please like the video, leave a friendly comment, and share with those you think would enjoy listening.

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Please join us, Matthew Stelzner and Jessica DiRuzza, as we talk about the current outer planetary alignment of Saturn and Pluto in conjunction from 2018-2021. The significance of this time period is felt by so many as we come to the final years of the Uranus-Pluto square from 2007-2020. Saturn and Pluto are making their first conjunction since 1981-84. On this episode of Correlations, we dialogue about the wide range of experiences one may have during this powerful alignment and offer alternative perspectives and thought forms on how to live with these energies in an empowering way.

We would love to hear from you! Please like and comment on Youtube and share this video with anyone you think would benefit from watching.

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Welcome to Stream. This new forum is dedicated to sharing my stream of consciousness in the realms of astrology and psychology, and to exploring how we live the most meaningful lives we can with the little time we have here.

In the second Stream, Family Patterns in Astrology, I share my thoughts on transgenerational aspect patterns. Encoded in our birth charts like DNA are planetary aspects we inherited from our parents. The genetics of astrology, seen in transgenerational aspect patterns passed from one generation to the next, allow us to trace our karmic lineages and understand the purpose of the gifts and challenges received from our ancestors. Astrology permits conscious evolution of the karmic torches we bear by illuminating where we incarnate in the chain of the unfolding Great Story.

Music for Stream created and produced by Travis DiRuzza (musical genius and love of my life!).

Thank you for listening to Stream. Please like the video, leave a friendly comment, and share with those you think would like to hear.

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